Ode to Kodiak Bear. . .

Friday, December 4, 2009

When Kodi got sick in June, we had many days of vet visits, crying, hope, laughter, pictures and memories. I am sure everyone feels the same when a family pet falls suddenly ill. What we believed is he was fine one day and ill the next. But Kodi, like a champ, had been dealing with cancer for a long while before he outwardly started showing signs of this horrible disease.

For the last seven months, we had not left Kodi alone for more than two hours by himself with the exception of one day (our family was out from California and we spent the day at a park). Sometimes getting no sleep, staying up with him all night. Seeing that he was let out, if he got sick, he was cleaned up, the mess was cleaned up and so on. . .

On Monday, Kodi was out in the yard playing ball with his daddy, Michael. On Wednesday evening December 2nd, 5:10pm, he was gone.

Kodi lived his life to the fullest and as I sit and try to lay words on this page, I realize that without a doubt I will never be able to pen what a terrific animal he truly was here for you to read?

I will say that my life as well as Michael's will never be the same. Kodi will never be replaced. We are truly better people for having him in our lives. I can't sit here and say that his life was better for having known us, but I can say that our lives are richer for having had a glimpse of his love.

In the last 7 months, Michael and I learned patience. We learned that giving is better than getting. We learned that no matter how bad it got, if Kodi could do it, we could. We learned that there was no sacrifice to small for someone who is completely and utterly dependent upon you to take care of them.

Kodi is buried on a hill overlooking his old hunting grounds with his favorite blanket and toys. I can't think of a more fitting way to say goodbye to him than the words of W. H. Auden from my favorite poem. I can't say goodbye yet Kodi, but I promise I will. For this moment, right now a poem and a kiss on your wet sloppy lips. muwahhha

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message HE IS DEAD,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

2 comments:

Wendy said...

what a fine testimonial to what must have been one of the all time great dogs. my heart goes out to you and michael.
love, w.

Pixybug Designs said...

All pet owners, who really love their pets, feel the same. It is hard to go through it, hard to express it, but the only word the works is LOVE. Nothing compares to the complete acceptance that a pet gives and the unconditional love we receive from them. While it is hard to say, and I don't want to sound cruel or heartless, the way to heal the void is to fill it with a new friend. We have had pets taken from us quickly and slowly, and when they are gone, the house feels so empty that it is hard to even be there. Our grief was eased by having a new pet. Your post is beautiful, your grief is heart wrenching and the love you had for Kodi is obvious. I am so sorry for your loss Kelli.

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